February 16, 2012
-
Modesty
I am usually very modest and strive to live a modest life.
I sometimes rock the boat.What is modesty?
The definition in THIS article coincides well with what I was taught in the
Christian church where I learned about modesty
Here in an excerp from the article
"Modesty is an attitude of humility that seeks to please God rather than man or self.
It is characterized by restraint and self-control, and dignity in dress, speech, and actions.
Modesty is a product of pure thinking and is not determined by what you wear.
You don’t become modest simply by putting on a “modest” dress.
Being appropriate requires discretion to evaluate what is modest in each situation."
Although it is not true that modesty equals clothing,
it is true that what we wear and how we wear it
can be modest or immodest.
So, if I believe that and strive to live a modest life
was it immodest to post a photo of me in my skivvies?
Was THIS photo immodest or inappropriate?What do you think modesty is, is it necessary?
Comments (53)
Modesty is taking focus off yourself and putting it on Christ instead. Your post yesterday made me stop and question my own modesty and want to pray about it.
Modesty does not equal shame and hiding yourself. Do not let yourself question your courage earlier, or your new ideas about yourself and your beauty. Do not let yourself beat you up. You inspired me.
@BoulderChristina - Thank you for this.I am good with it, but I am sure some had to wonder so I thought I would open it up for discussion and see what people are thinking.
Your definition of modesty is closer to my own. You can cover yourself from head to toe and still be a vain person. There is a difference between being modest and hiding yourself for shame, or for the fear of tempting others. I liked your message of doing little things to remind yourself that you are beautiful, strong, confident etc. I wouldn't worry about people who accuse of being immodest.
What can a man know about modesty? One thing that comes to mind is that the term is seldom applied to a male. For me modesty would be blushing while looking at your two previous posts! I fully expected to find a photo of undies in a drawer or a box but you surprised me. Although I didn't comment on them my thought was "you go girl." Do people still use that old cliché?
If you say "putting on modest dress" rather than "putting on A modest dress" you will make the need for modesty cover both genders.
I think you ROCK the world in your red skivvies - hummmmm two v's look like a w when typed together - skiwies, I could have saved a letter - who knew
@Erika_Steele - Thank you, you got my message as I intended it .No one said anything to me , but I know that people all have different ideas and just wanted to see what they are.
@mlbncsga - I always see a w too!
@Lovegrove - Good point. Good to see you!
Been around. Just haven't had anything to say about hearts 'n stuff.
@vexations - Thank you, and yes ,they do.
Modesty is definitely a way of life, not just clothes, not just a mindset. It has to coordinate.
Modesty as in being simple and true to yourself, is wonderful.
Modesty as an artificial moral/social ethic designed to encourage sexual continence is out moded.
I think your picture was fine. Then again I am an atheist.... there are many christians who would say I have no morals
I agree with what @BoulderChristina - says. your photo was a wonderful thing to do. not immodest, not inappropriate. you're sharing this all within your own page, Beth.. I'm glad you did!
I've always felt that the human body is so beautiful. Your post did not seem inappropriate to me at all - simply empowering.
The Photo was not improper it was done in good taste in a very classy way you were totally covered I would be the first to tell you that it was improper just call me Ralph mouth...
You are a beautiful lady besides have you seen the Dove commercials those are tastefully done too you look classy like the ladies in the TV ads
So modesty is about intent, then. So then whether it is modest or not is really a question for yourself? What do you think? I am more interested in what YOU think than the rest of xanga combined!
I am mostly trying to figure out what the Link photo means. lol
Can a gal in a bikini be modest? Can a 78 year old man be immodest?
I am mostly influenced with this subject based on how gals dress. I guess that is a too limited basis for defining modesty.
I think modestly is mostly an attitude that can affect all areas of life.
There will always be this tension---gals wanting to look nice and guys looking at them in an impure way.
frank
That is a good question. I didn't see anything "wrong" about you posting your undie-photos, but I'm not sure if that makes them modest. To me, though it doesn't really matter whether it was modest or not, your confidence shined though. This is something that I often question in my own life though.
I think it all comes down to how you and God are. Personally, I really loved your post. It made me think hard about how I feel about myself and my body. I wanted nice undergarments, but felt that I was too big or not good enough to have nice things!
Your heart is what draws me to you, sweet friend! I cannot imagine you as immodest!
I think people like to be legalistic and start saying that modesty is about "clothing" ... but then, they argue about that too. Showing ANY cleavage is too much, showing your KNEE is horrible, no no no it's showing your ANKLE! QUICK! COVER! How about a Burqa?
It's like... "You know what? I think we've missed the point here... I think it's about so many different things, and anyone who argues that it's all about covering your body (as if women should "hide" because it's all "their fault"... ) I think is living in fear of something. While I agree that women should no necessarily be walking around in mini skirts (specially in church) and tube tops. I don't think that wearing something "pretty, feminine, or even revealing a tad" is "bad" "wrong" "evil" or is necessarily an attempt at trying to be "seductive"...
Who KNOWS what sets men off. I've spoken to plenty of men who have a harder time when women are "covered" because the curiosity drives them to madness.
I don't believe modesty means that a beautiful woman has to wear a shoulder pad/neck high, floor lengthed dress.
0_o
Sail on... sail on!!!
I agree with what you said, mostly. However I don't agree that modesty does not include covering yourself. Since we were implicitly told to cover by God. He originally did not require clothes. It was only after the humans disobeyed that he required clothes for modesty. He made that very clear by providing a set of clothes (which however we do not know what shape they were exactly). So still there is a lot of leeway for our own interpretation of the amount. And in that our heart attitude is what decides it.
You are beautiful and I am glad you are here.
My kids laugh at me because if I am in my flannel pj's buttoned to my chin and someone comes to the door, I will scream, "I am naked!"
I posted a silly pulse in response to your red skivvies posts~
Was the picture in the previous "Blog" inappropriate? No. Yet, saying it was your new underwear took it out of the realm of "what should be publicly seen" into "unmentionables". I for one think we need to get over that, and just ask that women be discrete, men be more considerate. I thought it looked okay (gave me thoughts for my own wife
) You might carry a little extra weight, but you do still look good, and the shot shows what you might at times want to deny, yet that is you and you love it. That is good.
Modesty is a lot like Class. You know it when you see it. Those that have it don't even know it. It's just there for others to see and admire. So you are a classy and modest lady with a lovely smile.
@pb49r - I am so pleased that it gave you ideas for your wife,that is as it should be.
Seedsower rocking the boat. I'm thinking iceberg and Titanic.
Definitely not immodest or inappropriate -- in fact I wanted to say something like "Yay for having the courage to post the 2 photos," except in my kitchen shepherding mode I didn't have the brain to figure out how to say it! The linked photo is no more immodest than what we see every day at the beach, in shops, etc. The fact that you posted it is awesome, Beth -- please don't feel guilty or any other self-deprecating emotion about it! (((hugs)))
I didn't see anything immodest, but then, I have no hangups about the human body.
God created us naked. We are born naked. There is a subtle but distinct difference between being modest and being ashamed. We should not flaunt our bodies in a provocative manner, so as to incite lust, nor should we be ashamed to allow others to see us as God created us, flesh and all.
It seems I will be the only honest person on here and say that it makes me a bit uncomfortable to see a friend in their underwear. I do think posing in skivvies is a bit immodest, but I know that in general, you are definitely modest.
whoa! i would never thought you;d do that in a million years
Modesty is defined so many ways by so many cultures. I think it is a matter of each individual's moral compass. I think your photos were tastefully done. You showed far less than many women do when at the beach... If you are happy then that is all that matters!
I saw an empowered woman who's comfortable in her skin and not afraid to WORK IT in your post, what's immodest about that?
Adam and Eve covered themselves because they became ashamed of themselves. I'm not ashamed of myself and probably neither should you! I love your photo actually, women should be more confident in our bodies and less worried about "modesty". If God created people without clothes, perhaps it's our actions, not what we wear, that are important.
And modesty in clothing only pertains to women. I believe it is simply to shame women because men act like they cannot control themselves, when they can. Or else people would be fornicating on the streets all day.
I also know some people who dress very modestly because their church teaches them to do so. Yet, even though their church teaches against fornication, they worry more about showing cleavage than hoping into bed with men. Not the point of modesty, if you ask me. (Not that they should show anything to the public they don't want you, mind you. Just showing that modesty in clothing doesn't mean modesty in actions.)
i have a difficult time defining modesty... i think that modesty isn't necessarily a style of dress per say, but an attitude. i've seen individuals that dress conservatively, but carry themselves in a way that seems provocative. i also believe there is a huge difference between being immodest and being confident. the photographs you posted were an example of confidence and radiance. they were beautiful and inspiring.
Modesty has nothing to do with clothes you wear, but everything to do with WHY you wear what you wear. The guilt trip that has been put upon people for the effort to control the, by organized religion, has enforced an sense of shame and evil about the human body. Our American culture is influenced historically by the puritanical ideals that were a part of the earliest communities in this country.
The human body, in and of itself, holds no component of sin or evil.
Very nice but I'd hang it it the bedroom and not in the living room!! It's modest enough to post if you don't mind seeing yourself in your undies...on Google!!
Modesty could be looked at like drinking I guess.Having an occasional drink isn't bad in itself but if it offend someone else,you shouldn't do it in front of them.If wearing certain type clothes or acting a certain way offends someone(I'm speaking of those who call themselves Christians) you should not do it in front of them because it may cause them to stumble.Not sure if that makes sense,but its the first thing that came to mind.
I don't think that man or woman can accurately describe or being to understand or know what modesty is simply for the fact that we are vain and selfish creatures. We are not modest in the slightest, but rather proud. At the same time, others can go so far to be modest to an extreme and that too is a false sense of pride. There is pride and vanity on both ends of the scale so why not just be you and let God balance them for you as He sees fit. =)
.....ew
You are a very modest person and do not flaunt your self or your life in front of others. You share the beauty of your gardening, crafts, cooking and sewing with us. You are not a braggart and not an attention seeker. You give any way yo can and you are a whole lot of fun to read here on Xanga.
You are a beautiful woman in your red undies and did not look slutty at all but very pretty and well done. You always give the message to women to accept themselves no matter what size or shape they are.I thank you for this.
What is a man to do with impure thoughts? As a single guy, yes I had impure thoughts and try to rationalize that if forced I would marry Seedsower. Hopefully you did not have impure thoughts to tempt single guys like me.
Where do impure thoughts go? Let me remind you of the story of two monks. On day two monks, an older and a younger monk came to a river. A young lady asked the help of the monks to carry her across the river. The older monk carried the young lady across the river and deposited her on the other side of the shore. The two monks continued on their journey and the younger monk finally asked a question. "Didn't you become impure by carrying a lady across the river?" The older monk replied: " I became impure when carrying the lady across the river but all this time you have carried impure thoughts of this til now. So who is more impure?
"Being appropriate requires discretion to evaluate what is modest in each situation."
Although some people may say your lingerie post is immodest, it was an inspired one. Your intentions were to give women and girls of all types self-confidence by showing off your own body and having the self-confidence to do so; and not intentions of sexual perverseness. For posting "scandalous" photos, they were done tastefully, with their only purpose being to show the clothing item and how proud you felt in it. There is no other innuendo or sexuality expressed through the photos themselves. You're also not a 15 year old on Facebook tagging older men in your photos. I think what you did took a lot of courage.
According to my old church standards yes you were immodest but by today's standards no you were not. its not up to me anyway. Its about what you feel is wrong and right before God. If you come with a clean heart i think your fine.
There is nothing wrong with that playful picture, and you have a wonderful smile.
(modest) girls just want to have fuh-uhn, girls just wanna have fun...
Much of modesty is in behavior, though it is easy to try and force one's definition upon another. Look at the Victorian era... supposed to be the very definition of modest, but actually made a lot of free expression seeking individuals miserable.
To me, modesty is largely based on culture and circumstance. Nudity is not a problem in a nudist colony or certain Indigenous tribes, but of course it is inappropriate in, say, Harvard University.
I thought the photos were very tasteful. You weren't posed particularly provocatively and you used them in order to send a specific message (one that wasn't overtly sexual but rather about self-confidence).
Quit worrying Beth. You have a beautiful spirit and a love filled heart and that's what matters. And now we know, you rock the undies girl!
Your picture was not immodest at all, and, in fact, with the shirt was more modest than what we used to see in the store catalogs. They were bra and panty pictures and that is all, nothing immodest about it. I like the regular ads for these rather than Victoria's Secret, as those women look like they are on drugs and need a good meal! Modesty is dress and attitude. You can be classy without a dress or skirt up to the hoo-hoo. Your pictures were fine because they werent meant to be seen for any sexual reasons. At sixty, I thought about doing something similar but I don't have anything that matches and am not a big fan of bras.
If I can get some more weight off by the end of spring maybe I will put up a picture of me in my bathing suit. 
Now if they stop closing the pools around, I could actually use it!