November 8, 2011

  • Xanga is My Home

    Can you believe it is time to start making bows already?

    I have movies lined up, lots of ribbon, wires, scissors and drinking water.
    I’m all set to make a bazillion bows.

    Sooner or later you’d think everyone in the area and their mom would have a bow
    the way I make so many every year.

    The Poinsettia Show is coming right up too

    Ten thousand poinsettias, live music, and tasty vittles are all part of the adventure,
    so saddle up to join us as we celebrate Christmas in the wild, wild West!

    Friday 12/2 (9-9)
    Saturday 12/3 (9-5)
    Closed Sunday
    Monday 12/5 (9-9)

    I will be busy!

    So I come to this place that I’m at during our busy season where
    I apologize for not being on here like I want to be.

    This year is the first year on Xanga that I think I have things in a proper perspective.
    I used to feel so guilty about not reading and commenting
    that I let it take away from my work time.
    Part guilt part addiction.

    When I first started Xanga I only commented people I knew,
    then I saw that you can comment on any site so I did ,
    all over from one end to the other, I still love poking around on here.
    I became very addicted to commenting and made about 100 comments a day.
    It caused a lot of problems with my home life,
    I was staying up til 4 and was on here all the time many hours at a time.
    Things changed and so did I,
    I let things go at home that I should have been doing
    and people were hurt.
    I eventually went to counseling but it has been a slow process to learn a balance.
    I had to break the compulsive cycle of
    reading every sub and commenting on every site,
    after a while I got it down to making about 50 comments a day.
    People on here were hurt when I stopped commenting so much
    and started doing the things I needed to do offline.
    I was trying to please everyone and work on past issues, it was all too much.
    I felt like I let everyone down on and offline but I thank God
     that I was able to continue to sort through it all.

    I’m finally at  place where I feel like I have a good balance,
     I can blog most days and make 25 comments or so a day but
    if I miss a day or two I do not feel guilty.
    I stayed off of Xanga almost a week a while ago
    that was the first time since I have had this site that I did that.

    I figured something out,
    I have always been a giver, I do for others,
    it is who I am, I have a hard time receiving.
    This is one of the only places in my life where I get more than I am able to give.
    There is no way I can return all the comments or read all the subs,
    even if I would not post for a month and just comment I could not keep up.
    I considered shutting down my site because I felt bad
    that I could not keep up.
    I love this community and I love the people here
    and miss you when I’m not here .
    You are and have been a part of my life since 2006.
    We’ve been through a lot together, I have prayed for many of you
    and I’ve been prayed for by you in my hour of need.
    We’ve encouraged one another and made  each other laugh and cry.
      We have been a hiding place from the rest of life,
     a place where you KNOW you can find someone to talk to
    and get some love when you need it.
    We do know one another and care, we share our lives on here.
    This is where I’ve met some of the best friends that I have ever known.
    This is as much my community as the little village where I live is.
    This is why my site is still here even when I am not able to be as much as I would like.
    This is where I fit in, where I belong,
    where you will find me as long as there is a Xanga.