September 1, 2011

• Sometimes Love Wins

  I grew up in the country but had to move to the city when my parents separated.
  Being in the city was so overwhelming to me, so much had changed in a short time.
  My parents were supposed to work things out
  but before they could do that a less than pleasant woman
  got her hooks in my dad (whom we called Pop) and never let go.
  She hated his kids and did not want him to see us.

  I was lost and lonely, I found out where he lived
  and was so happy that I could walk there.
  The first time I went to see him I was allowed into the house
  but it was very stressed and clipped, not inviting.
  After that when I would go to see him she would answer the door
  and  either say that he was not there
  (when I could hear him cough)
  or she would say he did not wish to see me.
  I would walk home crying  but I never could give up on him.
  I kept going back only to be turned away week after week.
  Then one week she wasn't there, she had gotten a job or changed shifts,
    it was raining so Pop let me stand in the vestibule
  where I could be out of the rain, we talked for a few minutes.
  The next week Pop said
  "Well, while you are her you may as well come in and eat, I made Tuna Salad.
  The next week he took me out for lunch and after that it was a weekly date
  to go out for lunch. We made a few good memories to hold on to.
  I needed them after the rough years growing up.
  Sometimes I think he thought it was funny to torment me
  he would tell me that he got married to that woman.
  I never knew if he had or hadn't.
  When his girlfriend got laid off and was home
  we were no longer able to see one another,
  because he could not stand up to her.

  Out of the blue one day Pop called me
  and wanted to give me his social security number. He said
  "If anything ever happens to me  make sure your mom files for my social security,
  He said he never married the other woman
  because he wanted my mom to receive his social security benefits
  and that my mom had earned it during all the years they were married"
  (They were married 25 yrs)
  He died shortly after that
  and everything he had went to the girlfriend.
  I did go to the house and ask for the Family Bible he had
  which they refused to give me...
  but my mom is the one who receives his social security check.

  Things happened that should not have ever happened
  and all in our family have a lot of scars from his violence and abuse
  but  his love for my mom remains in a tangible way that provides for her and
  was his final say in where his heart truly belonged.
  He found a redeeming grace.

  • 8:08 am
  • 42 Comments