December 31, 2010
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My Whistlin' Girdle (A repost for your amusement)
I worked as a youth advisor at my church for many years.
I became very good friends with several of the girls who had been through the youth group.
One of them asked me to be in her wedding,
what an honor that was for me .
We went looking for dresses,she wanted something pretty but not fancy.
Were were all different sizes from a 'plus size' to a '2 Petite'.
We all agreed on these sage green dresses .
I guess you know which one is me.
The dress clung to every bump I had and it looked awful,
my mom bluntly informed me that I needed a girdle.
"A What?" I said. I never had a girdle on in my entire life.
But so it was,we went under garment shopping.
I found a nice one-piece thing that would work
to smooth out the wrong bumps and enhance the right ones!.
It covered my big butt and my thunder thighs too.
Like this one but not in red and A MUCH larger size.
I did not wear it until the day of the wedding.
So here I was walking up the aisle and honest to God
there was a whistling noise coming from my nether regions.
There was some serious friction going on.
But I just kept walking.
The grain in the fabric was rubbing together and making a noise like
"ffffweeeet,ffffweeeet"
with every single step.
People in the church started looking up and down trying to figure out where the bird was.When I walked out with the Groomsman he asked me...
"Do you hear a whistling noise?"
I just said "Yup".
Comments (72)
Hehehe! I've actually totally been there!
chuckles as you would so fuss about the fashion police investigating the murder of my style as recompence. and just to be a brat,no, I couldn't spot you in the picture, oh I know what you wanted to allude to, I just refuse! to see that kind of fluff and nonsense...wow, you'll always spot me because I wear the cokebottle, it's true that talk but unfriendly sounding tossity tuhrash can that kind of sentiments.happy new year seedsower
Hehehe. And that's all I have to say 'bout that!
Oh my that is hilarious!!!
That is so funny, but I bet you didn't think it was at the time. Yes, I know which one you are.......the pretty one with the long dark curls.
I've had my first laugh of the new year. Thanks ! And who couldn't spot the prettiest bridesmaid there! Wish i took as good a picture as you do.
I spotted you right away! You're the gorgeous one! This was a very funny story Beth! I didn't know girdles twirped!
I found the miracle of spanx (the new age girdle) a couple of years ago for my younger sister's wedding. I really needed it to smooth those back fat bumps that I accuired in the 5 months between purchasing the dress and wearing the dress.....
I was shocked to find that since they were so hard to get on and off that the makers had designed them to not have crotches so that one could just lift said dress and 'go' when needed.
The entire way down the aisle (on the arm of my brother in law's creepy pervert dad) I keep my mantra of "dont fall down and show everyone your who who, don't fall down and show everyone your who who...." going!
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