April 25, 2010
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Special Fashion Show- Sexy Nightgowns and Feeling Beautiful
I debated doing this post, but I have a reason for it.
It is a special fashion show forXangans' Dress Sense that OhItWontBeForever is hosting.Some little girls are told that they are beautiful from the first day on by everyone
and others never hear it spoken to them.
Beautiful does not come from words either spoken or unspoken.
Sometimes people are told how beautiful they are
and it is only skin deep,they may look pretty but they are not kind.
So, are they really beautiful?
I think Beauty is in how we think and feel about ourselves
and how we act towards others.
It seems like many women feel ugly or are not able to accept compliments.
Unkind words we have heard cut deep and
it is almost impossible to believe anything good
when the unkind words keep playing over and over in our heads.
It is up to us to work past the hurt and see our selves as we are
not as others have said we are.
Others who see our beauty can help us to see it
but we are the ones who have to believe it.Last year, while working through issues I realized that I have never felt pretty, feminine, attractive or sexy.
I've always heard in my head the ugly things people have called me,
you know, the ones common for the fat kids.
When people want to be kind they say heavyset
( and I am heavy but that is not all that I am or who I am),
lesser kind terms are: tubby, pig, fatty, fat-so, cow, heifer, elephant, whale on the beach etc.
My brother coined the phrase "whalephant" just for me.
My dad was bipolar and in his down moods he was nasty and ashamed of my weight,
he would tell me I was disgusting, which only made me eat more.
That word,"disgusting" stuck with me above all else.
People said nice things too,but that could not override the pain.While shopping last spring I saw a pretty nightgown at "Fashion Bug".
I've never owed anything pretty like that in my entire life
nor even thought about trying something like that on before.
Once when I was in a 'Victoria's Secret' with my sister
I saw a young man point to me and say to his girlfriend
"What does she think she will find in here to fit her?" I remembered that and
I hid the pretty nightie beneath some other clothing I was carrying, I was very embarrassed.
I went into the dressing room and I tried it on...
I felt like I've never felt before, I felt pretty and feminine ....
and I felt a tear roll down my face, I cried.
I saw the me behind the ugly names.
It was a mix of working on the past, people telling me what they saw in me
and finally seeing something beautiful on me.
I have enjoyed pretty nightgowns ever since that day.
Thanks for all the wonderful comments,I appreciate them but really
what I would like if for each one
to stop for a minute and feel their own worth and beauty.
You are all beautiful to me.
Comments (151)
I'm glad, Beth. You are very beautiful!
You are beautiful, inside and out.
It's very hard to feel beautiful after all the ugly things people have said to you. People have always said I'm "cute," I've never been called beautiful or even pretty...even so, it doesn't make a difference when I think about the other things people have said about me.
Thank you for writing this post.
oh, screw people! you know who you are: a strong, beautiful person.
Beth, you are amazing. What more can I say? You are the finest example of beauty that any girl could ever dream of. I'm sharing this post with my daughters. Thank you for being who you are. You are strong, wise, confident and lovely.
I know exactly what you're talking about. Even though I was thin was I was young, I was never thin enough or pretty enough for my mom, whose words still echo in my memory today. When I got married I gained weight rapidly. I never felt I deserved pretty things either, and I thought, why would I want to put them on that fat body, anyway? Over the last few years I've been slowly losing weight. After my surgery last year I went out and bought all kinds of pretty bras, panties and nighties. It's amazing how something as silly as wearing cute undies boosts your self esteem! I'm still losing weight because I feel better about myself now. Feeling good about yourself helps you to make better decisions about taking care of your body.
You are beautiful! You're especially rocking that red nightie! I'm proud of you for posting this!
We are beautiful no matter what they say
Yes, words won't bring us down
We are beautiful no matter what they say
Yes, words can't bring us down
Don't you bring me down today
This is such a happy story. The negative records that play over and over in our heads sound so convincing until we stop the music and play a more positive song.
You look lovely in your pretty nightgowns.
What an awesome post! I have always thought you are gorgeous - from
your beautiful smile on the outside, to your sweet and giving heart on
the inside. The pictures are fantastic, and I am so glad you posted
them! I understand the sadness you went through with family members
and the hurtful things they said. You are a fantastic person, inside
and out!
P.S. My favorite gown is the aqua/brown - looks super on you!
Kathi
What is the most beautiful is your confidence... but you still look stunning, in the gowns!
You ARE beautiful, inside and out.
You are one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen; both inside and out. There is absolutely nothing wrong with your size. God gave you a big heart, so you need a "big" body to carry it in. I accented the word big, only because that is the way you see yourself. What others who care about you see, IS a lovely, out going, caring Christian angel of a woman. God made you as you are. And who in their right mind is going to criticize God's creation? He knows more than the so called "fashion mavens".
At one time years ago a plus size woman was valued higher than gold. Then somewhere along the line, society shifted the other way; and according to some anorexic fools, "thin is in". I question their health issues and how they perceive life as well as other people.
I was abused, both verbally and physically, from early childhood by my mother and brothers, then later on by my first husband. It seems that somehow I was not considered worthy of love and acceptance by these people. I was either too this or too that; never just ok. Insults cut like a knife. Then when living in Indiana, I met a lovely Mennonite lady who turned my thinking around. You might say she literally saved my life. (long story)
Please don't be so hard on yourself. You are perfect just the way you are, and WE LOVE YOU! God doesn't make junk; people do. BTW, you look beautiful in that nightgown!
I have always thought of you as beautiful! I'm sorry so many unkind things have been said to you.
I haven't felt beautiful for a very long time, due to many reasons - poor health has done a number on me, stress, taking care of everyone else and not myself, no one to be beautiful for or to tell me I'm beautiful anyway - I don't know if it's possible to get it back, I've kind of given up - but my daughter still tells me I'm beautiful, so that's all that matters!
@musicmom60 - I think the comment alone shows how beautiful you are, I hope in time you feel it!
@crazy2love - I think you are beautiful, I always have done, from when I first saw you on Xanga.
As above comments have said, you are beautiful. You are one of the most beautiful ladies I know, and I am so glad you experienced that moment in the dressing room. You needed to know.
You look absolutely stunning in all of the photos in this post, and the new profile photo, too.
You are right. Sometimes, words cut so deep that it takes a lot to take over their place in one's mind. Ugly is a state of mind, and just as beauty, it is in the eye of the beholder.
You're one of the nicest people; that's what makes you beautiful in my eyes. And then, you are absolutely gorgeous, and that is just a bonus.
What an amazing post. I am gonna link this as part of the Dress Sense thing! This is the best fashion show I have ever seen, and probably will ever see.
I am so glad that you are finally seeing the beautiful woman we all see when we look at your pics and read your words! You are a truly beautiful woman, Beth, and it is a shame that you lost so much time believing others lies. You inspire so many, in so many ways... you are kind and thoughtful, giving and loving, your smile is delightful and your soul shines through your eyes!
@OhItWontBeForever - I added your link,it was part of that,I am still sort of editing this, it took a while to get it all together.
Yeah, I just noticed after I submitted my comment! Thank you!
How could you ever think you aren't beautiful...just look at that profie picture..those shinning eyes and that lovely smile, and knowing your generous, loving heart, you ARE what beauty is all about. Not bad looking nighties there either. Better then the tees I wear most of the time!
You are beautiful. And that gowns are sexy. I like the red one.
*stop* I'm beautiful.
*go* I LOVE THE BLUE AND BLACK ONE ON THE RIGHT!!! Oh my god it's HOT!
There is not a thing wrong with how you look Beth. Obviously that jerk in VS doesn't know beauty when he sees it.
I'm so stinkin' proud of you Beth.
YOU always make me feel pretty and loved. I think your incredible. NOw... I need to foind me some of those nighties to share with Ben. ;-b
I've seen some beauties that truly stink as people...but you my dear are lovely inside and out.
You are gorgeous! It's really hard in our society to feel beautiful as a woman, no matter what you weigh. With the media spouting nonsense and other people just waiting to tear us down, it's truly hard. People forget that true beauty comes from within, and you are very beautiful both inwardly and outwardly. And, hot damn, you have some awesome nighties
you are gorgeous! and you have perfect skin too... so lucky. <3
We need more beautiful women like you, Beth, to show the world beauty doesn't have to be five-foot-ten and 120 pounds. Our culture is sick, I tell you, when an anorexic fashion model is considered beautiful and a voluptuous older woman is not.
Awwwww! I heart you and think you're a sooo beautiful. Absolutely adorable!
i love pretty nightgowns... i buy vintage slips at thrift shops, clean them well, & wear them to bed. they're so fun!
i gained a lot of weight when i got married... anything you can do to feel comfortable in your own skin is always totally worth it!
this is one of the best affirmations i have read in a while. it's grand and you're beautiful.
Thanks for sharing! I'm sorry you had to go through that. People can be so cruel. But I'm glad you were able to see yourself and realize that you're beautiful on the inside as well as the outside.
And screw what that guy said, you look sexy in those nighties.
OH GIRL. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL WITHOUT A DOUBT. Both inside and outside, that makes you quite extra special!
Overall beauty...I think there are plenty of people that pale in comparison to you.
And thanks, Beth.
You are so beautiful
thank you and bravo for sharing this!! I hate having pictures of myself because I hate the way I look. I had a similar experience at Victoria's Secret!! I had gone in to look for something - I can't even remember what, but of course I couldn't find my size or something, and on my way out some guys were walking in and as they passed me, they did that whole coughing to cover up what you're saying thing, but I heard them clear as day and what they said was "dog" I have never been back in VS and in fact I despise them but for other reasons
anyway, good for you and I think you are one truly special lady!
*whistles* HOT MAMA!!
When I was 7-13 my bff was a very pretty girl. When we were bumming around people would always tell her how pretty she was and then just smile at my chubby face. It never stung, really it just reaffirmed that I was NOT pretty. I'm kind of grateful that I was "chunky" until highschool. I'm a much deeper and more well rounded person because of it. I think you're a hottie! I love, love the black one.
OW BABY! WORK IT!!! SEXY FOXY MAMA!!!!<3
*ahem*
You are a gorgeous woman and those pictures are absolutely radiant. Shine on, shine on!!
I'm blushing a little, I hope I can comment without embarassing you but WoW! I'm a push over for sexy nightgowns. You are beautiful in them! Thank you for your openness.
you ooze femininity girl. You are very attractive in those pretty little nightgowns.
you are gorgeous period! I dont care if you dont believe me but you have a beautiful and sweet appearance.
You look absolutely stunning!
This was a truly awesome post.
This was amazing.
I like the flowered nightie best.
nightgowns, yay
This was a beautiful post. Just... beautiful and amazing and inspirational.
Yeah, those names surely suck - I've gotten my fair amount too. It's so hard to break out of that mindset that "Well, maybe everyone else is right". It sucks, but when you finally break out of it, it's such a wonderful feeling.
And that man who said that about you in the store? Needed to be punched or something. That was incredibly rude of him. I'm sorry he did that.
The first pic - that floral print is incredibly cute and pretty! You look gorgeous in all of them.
If i could rec this a million times, I would.
Heck, let me go back at take another look at me in that hat. Perhaps I don't look so bad after all.
@vexations - Right handsome you are.
I think you are beautiful. I like the pink and white nightie.
There is something about lace and pretty details that has always flattered the female form. I guess it is the outward representation of the beauty that is woman.
This is a beautiful post Beth, in all aspects of the word! I really love that first pic, but they are all gorgeous. Keep on enjoying your femininity, you look great doing it!
I love you, Beth. You're beautiful through and through : )
I'm a sucker for soft materials. My fondest memories are when I cuddle next to someone wearing something soft like cashmir and other soft materials.
I've heard that silk is very soft. So is velvet. Just thinking about soft materials turns me on...
And it is a great bonus when the woman is soft and she has a kind temperment too.
Good for you, Beth. You are lovely and a dear
aww. I needed to read this post today. Thank you.
-huuuuuugs-
I was one of those who never/rarely hear how beautiful they are. The most hurtful one was when my ex husband and I were going through marriage counselling. We had to fill out questionnaires and one of the questions related to how attractive we each found the other when we first met. I had answered that I found him extremely attractive (I really did). He had answered that he thought I was not very attractive at all.
It was one of the most soul shattering things I ever experienced.
I guess there's a reason why he's my ex.
oh and I love your pretty nighties!
you totally got to me. You have a wonderful smile!Â
Maybe I need to start buying some night gowns :]
Good for you! You are beautiful!!! That line about learning to see yourself for who you are and not how others see you is so so important! I didn't really understand it until I was in my late 20's! Wasted a lot of energy trying to be what I thought I should mold myself into. Not a good a way to think!
You're gorgeous. :]
OMG I love that blue and black nighty. I am jealous- I pretty much have only worn old Tees and flannel pants/shorts since having my babies. My body went throught the wringer with each one and never regained any kind of recognizable shape after. But I think you are so right. Maybe I need to buy myself a nighty. My hubby would shed tears of joy.
The VS guy was a total jerk. So sorry you had to run into the village idiot while out shopping.
I know exactly what you mean when you say you remember the ugly things people say and the nice things just don't cover it do they. Now, It just doesn't matter so much about what mean people say. It took a while.
Oh, thanks for the comment on my "altered" quilt.
Beth...you are so beautiful inside that it shines through to the outside!!! I can't tell you how I love that first picture of you...with the flowered negligee...the look on your face is just pure joy!!!
Ruth Ann
You are beautiful, and you are an inspiration. And you look good in those nightgowns. : )
atta girl!
I think tomorrow I'm off to Vickie's myself. I have no idea why, but you just never know ....
You know Beth, the first time I came across your blog, I thought, OMG, look at her smile. She can light up so many dark corners in people's lives. I am sorry you had such a horrible childhood. You are beautiful inside and out. Your eyes and smile and the way you come across say it all.
so much wisdom here ... i too work through those "uglies" bestowed upon me to shake them off ... the black lacy one gets my vote ...
I have always thought you were a beautiful woman.
@ZSA_MD - Thank you Zakiah,for the lovely compliment.
Parts of my childhood were awful but my mom worked hard to make it as good as she could.
@k8tthelate - You saw one of my pretty nighties!
You, I and all of us are beautiful women. We are beautiful because we are and that is more than good enough.
This is wonderful and beautiful, like you.
Thank you for this. I think we all need to read and hear things like this sometimes to remind ourselves that we're all truly beautiful. (btw, I love the last nightey! so cute!)
Pardon my French, but what an asshole that guy in Victoria's Secret was. People like that are obviously insecure about something, and they're NOT happy; their lives are empty of anything meaningful. You are a very attractive woman, and, dare I say, sexy?
You exude confidence, which automatically attracts people to your best qualities.
You are gorgeous, Beth, and you are rockin' those nighties!
I bet you rock the one I gave you!
You are so amazing <3
love this.
everyone is fabulous!
Thank you for this beautiful post. I wish I could have that confidence!
You have beautiful skin, a beautiful smile, and eyes that tell a million stories. And, I always wished I had curves like you! Boys used to say to me, "Nice shirt. Did the board come with it?" I prayed that God would give me curves, but instead he gave me eyes to see myself as He does.
Thanks for sharing your journey.
@OhItWontBeForever - Aww you are so sweet. You're beautiful inside and out too =]
Your post made me smile! To read the feeling you described when you tried on the sexy nightgowns was awesome...and the joy and happiness that is in your eyes in your first picture is fantastic...so happy for you...btw, curves are very sexy!
Words can hurt so bad sometimes, I know. You truly are beautiful though, Beth. You look great in every photo too.
You're beautiful, inside and out. I'm happy you're happy with you. I find that's one of the important things in life.
Beth, you make me teary-eyed. You're such a beautiful person and have an amazing way of expressing that beauty through your words.
Love this post!! I think you are gorgeous - I like the one with the roses because it makes you light up! This has inspired me! I'm going to have to dig out some frilly sexy things. hehehe! My husband thanks you.
That's sad that so many were mean to you. You have such a friendly, compassionate face.
You are so beautiful! I love the brown and blue nightgown =]
<3
Woo Hoo!!!! Now you're talking!
From what I've seen from your photos in your blogs, you are a sexy beautiful woman. Don't let them bring you down!
I'm so glad you got to have that happy moment. I don't think it's *just* bigger girls who suffer from body loathing. I've always been average, not "fat", but I've felt fat, my entire life. My dad did the "you are a pig" thing to me, too...I think it's never left me. I have good days and bad days, but when I force myself to say nice things about myself, it's a lot better. Thank you for posting this.
i love this! So true!
AWESOME!!! Powerful words and photos. Bravo!
Women like you set the right example for others. You are amazing and, just by this post alone, are absolutely beautiful. Thank you for posting this.
aw beth, you've always been beautiful.
I hope you got the blue and brown one, it looks like it was made for you, you look really lovely!
People should take their words more seriously.
♥
You go girl!!! You are beautiful, and this post is beautiful.
I know what you mean Beth. My mother always, (and still) tells me how handsome I am, so has every woman I've been with, (all 4 lol), Yet I've never believed it myself. I look in the mirror and only see the things I don't like about myself. Who is this brute, surely not me, why I don't feel anything like this person in the mirror. I think that because I can't interact with myself the way others do, that I'm at a disadvantage.I know the real me too well.
We can't always experience ourselves like others do. We pick and claw at our flaws, while others appreciate our virtues. I'm not thoroughly convinced we can ever change that really. We always see ourselves the way we do, and it's often in contrast to how others see us. But appearances be damned. I'm a good person on the inside and I need to cut myself a break. I'm glad that you are seeing yourself differently too. I've always thought that you were one of the most beautiful people I've ever met. You're honest, and kind, and I sense we think alike in many ways.
It's never a good idea to try and objectify yourself. It threatens the things inside that make us truly beautiful.
Brilliant! It is not often I find a mind that is willing to broach the difficult subjects. What, indeed, is beautiful? Your thoughts, words and opinions are wonderfully brilliant and you are beginning the Renaissance of your life. I believe that when we begin to understand ourselves and become comfortable in our own skin...is when we begin to grow in ways we never thought possible.
Kudos.
Sail on... sail on!!!
PS In case you forgot, the 0 evil prop from the PIRATE is a very VERY good thing!
You are beautiful and brave.
Beautiful Beth !
Love
Michel
YOU are one of the most beautiful women I know - both inside and out ((laughing)) and as evidenced by these pics, apparently also one of the sexiest! LOVE this fashion show, Beth.
hare krishna
I see you as a beautiful, strong, independent person. You are beautiful inside and out.
And I really love the last picture. :)
You are a beautiful person inside and out. Shame on that guy for not recognizing that!
Ok. Now that I have seen you in sexy nighties, I am going to have erotic fantasies for the next six weeks! I am glad you are only my adopted sister and not my real sister. That would make what I am thinking just plain wrong!
I'm so sorry that people made/make you feel that way. You are whoever you want to be and should dictate that, not someone else. Easier said (and I'm sure you've heard it before) than done, but it's still true. And in today's world, I think weight is a hot button issue for everyone. In college I suffered a bit from depression and gained 8lbs. Not a lot, but it was definitely enough to make me wear sweatshirts every day. My family noticed and started making comments here and there. It's what started an eating disorder. Long story short, I'm doing better but whenever I hear someone's being put down (or even praised) for their weight, it just make me shake my head. Who are we as a society that we have to put someone down because of their weight?? So long as you're happy, I'm happy. And I'm glad you're finally happy. <3
You're so beautiful.
What a journey you're on Beth. Thank you for sharing it with us. I love how you want this for all people who may not know that they are beautiful beings! You are gorgeous. Always were.
Is there nothing more fun than a beautiful nightgown? Lovely post! Thank you.
Blubbering here...you are wonderful! You share all kinds of things to help us grow as human beings. (And you help goofballs like me when you should be on your way somewhere more important!) You brought me up a notch today! I have a hard time looking in the mirror for more than a second or two, but I think I am going to take a baby step today!!! Thank you with all my heart!
You are sooo beautiful---your eyes and smile are amazing - they draw me in- and gotta' say you should get all the nighties!
@lupus_lady - Awww,that is a beautiful comment,you are so beautiful to me, I admire you.
The nighties are mine,they are being modeled in my living room!
Yay for you! If I was paying attention to the locale I might have noticed...
Admire me???
@skittler335 - LauraI really struggled with this post ,when I read a comment like yoursit affirms the choice. You are beautiful in every way, I have always thought so too.
@seedsower - *tears up* Thanks Bethie. *huggles*
I have always thought you were physically beautiful as well as kind and sweet and thoughtful (inner beauty). Thank you so much for this post, it brought tears to my eyes. Recently, due to just having a baby, I have struggled a bit with my physical appearance...wishing it to be what it was before baby. But you are right, I need to be realistic and know that in reality it isn't ugly or bad, it's just part of being a momma! I love, love the first nightie with the pink flowers on the cream background, it seems so "you!"
Pretty sure you already know...
You make me cry. A perfectly sublime post. Thank You, Beth.
@musicmom60 - Hey ,I was rereading these comments today and I wanted to tell you that you are so beautiful to me...I would sing it to you so you know.
OMW! Again...................soooo pretty! I LOVE THESE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ok, from one bigger built gal to another..........how on earth do you keep your chest "up" when wearing those pretty nighties! Mine seem to think the floor is their home! LOL
Absolutely love this! Makes me feel like I can get some nice undergarments and some pretty nighties!
@SealedbyGrace - I am not big busted but I do find that supportive lace is nice , a lot of nighties have it as opposed to loose fitting lace, It helps keep the girls in place.
This is a refreshing post, and a great outlook at beauty. I have a poor self-image and have always been very self conscious, so this is very inspiring and bold to me! You are beautiful!
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